I am in a similar situation and found a workaround by accident, but I’m not sure how applicable it would be to your situation, since it works with VNC.
I installed OSXvnc on a Mac at work and found that by enabling fast user switching I can have the local machine display the login window while I use my VNC client (I use Chicken of the VNC) and access my account. Then, I run ARD from that account where I can connect to any of the other machines on my LAN.
So I’m not sure if that will help you any, but I figured I would at least offer the suggestion. I find it quite useful, and I’m no longer worried about anyone seeing what I’m doing.
-Finney
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